This is a rai poem, the kind that could go on forever! For the Scavenger Hunt.
Spring daisy chain
The spring wind is cold,
older than mountains,
fountains of lava,
balaclava warm.
Swarming bees hum,
drumming like thunder,
under the rain cloud,
loud as jays winging,
singing their hoarse notes,
throats full of crow-caw.
Raw are the nights, still
chill, not for chick waifs,
safe from winter’s teeth,
beneath mother’s wing.
Spring trees are greening,
preening their feathers,
wethers their wool coats,
goats their dainty feet.
Wow Jane!! You took this to the next level with the rhyming between stanzas!!! I’m not seeing this as an abrupt ending but a final pause before summer sets in! So good! ❤
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Thanks 🙂 I often write poems that line the lines this way, but I’ve never also stuck to a set line length. I do though always end the poem with the word it began with. It can take a long time to get there…
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Wonderfully structed response to prompt, JD. Thanks.
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Thanks Ron! These things can run and run 🙂
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This is wonderful Jane – I’m so going to try this form!
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Thank you! Apparently it’s not an obligation to make the couplets link up with one another. They just have to rhyme within the couplet. I misunderstood and made it ten times harder 🙂
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Aaaa. I’ve just been drafting a poem using your rules- I’ve got five stanzas so far!
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They are rules for one form of south east asian poetry. We have refined and modified it 🙂
I often write poems that form a single chain of end to beginning rhymes but the lines don’t have a restricted length. The hard bit is to end the poem with the same word (or a very close rhyme) that it began with. I call it a serpent’s tail.
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Counting syllables is not for me at all, but repeating rhymes and patterns are tempting me !
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That’s what I like too. Counting syllables, unless it’s also counting beats, is purely arbitrary.
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I like this chain of vignettes–what a wonderful picture it paints. I haven’t tried this form yet, I’ll look for it on the list. (K)
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As I explained already, I misunderstood the rules. Apparently the ‘chain’ isn’t necessary. It only links the two lines of the couplets, not the couplets to one another. Makes it a lot easire!
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I like the results of your interpretation.
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Thank you xx
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