For dverse, a poem with pavements in it, and an English adaptation.
Chemin faisant
Une journée de pluie
nuages charbon gris
les pigeons s’en volent
et toi qui me suis
par trottoirs luisants
un miroir d’argent
bref souvenir
parti comme le vent.
A day of rain
and clouds charcoal grey
birds scatter like grain
and you follow me
where the pavements’ dull gleam
reflects silver sky
a brief city dream
a flutter, a sigh.
The Four Swans 
“birds scatter like grain and you follow me where the pavements’ dull gleam reflects silver sky,” .. there are so many dimensions created in this poem! Lovely work done, Jane 💜
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Thanks so much, Sanaa!
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I imagined a little cat following you. xx
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Black, with a very loud voice xx
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💙💙
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I love the monochrome colors and sounds, Jane.
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Thank you!
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I like the gentle movement in this. (K)
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Thank you xx
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A lovely gem of a poem!
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Thank you!
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You’re welcome!
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Stunning verse. I love the line cuts.
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Thank you!
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I read both versions aloud, loved the feel of the words in my mouth, and how the rhythm and rhymes differ. Isn’t language is amazing?! I especially love ‘birds scatter like grain’ and the ‘pavements’ dull gleam reflects silver sky’.
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Thanks Kim. It’s difficult to adapt poems from one language to another. The poetry itself is so different. I’m pleased you like the result though.
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You’re most welcome, Jane.
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xx
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this is beautiful, I liked everything about it.
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Thank you xx
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Your poem gently rests on the mind creating a peaceful feeling. The birds do scatter on rainy days. There was a terrible thunderstorm here yesterday.
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Thank you xx
It’s been stormy since March here.
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